School Excuses
I'm sorry I can't come to school today because I have toemonia!

Oh, sorry [teachers name], the cafeteria food made me delirious.

Al was not in school yesterday because he was didn't feel like going.

I was late for class because the bell rang before I got here!!

I won't be in class because my dog chipped my tooth.

I was absent because I got my head caught in the power window of the car.

My dog has mistaken my homework for that GOSH DAMN newspaper.

My sister ate it... (I don't really recommend you to use it.)

I got mugged on the way to school and they took my Bag with the homework in it.

My baby brother threw up on my home work.

I got stuck in the elevator.

My mom forgot to wake me up.

Didn't You feel The Earthquake?

My mom put my homework in the washer.

Sorry I was late; the bell rang before I got here

Mom ate it, she's heavily pregnant and having very odd cravings

"I was going to go to school today, but my doctor recommended not doing anything that causes me stress."

Iím tardy because I am protesting against the nature of clocks.

Dear , Seth will not coming to school because of your ugly face, your bucked teeth, and your smelly farts. That is all.

I'm sorry, but I can't turn in my homework because my cat threw up on it. Want to see?

Please excuse bob from school today as constipation has made him uptight.

I ate my homework because I didn't have any ice cream, but it had all the answers on it so it made me smarter.

Molly will not be attending school today because her fish died and we're planning the flushing.

Please excuse Samantha from swimming today because of her plumbing problems.(period).

Excuse Zac for he fell down the stairs studying for his algebra test.

My underwear was too tight, it was cutting off the circulation to my brain!

Please excuse my tardiness, My Mother took Drugs while she was pregnant with me.

I spilt lemonade on my homework and its drying on the radiator at home.

i wasn't in class yesterday cause i didn't want to go

Jones wanted to come to school, but he's busy playing games (parent's name)

I could not do my homework as my house burnt down and i managed to save everything except my homework.

please exuse bob from school because the dog had a headache

I was tardy for class because my foot got stuck in the toliet

i swear i did my homework but i was abducted by aliens and they stole it.

I was walking to school when a baby jumped on my leg crawled up my back and sucked the homework out of my bag. I think it was a mutated baby.

Please excuse Cori from school today, she claims to have a disease from over exposure to homework, and needs to start chemo therapy.

I can't go to school today because I irritated my aunt.

I did my homework but then i ate it. Would you like me to try to go to the bathroom?

i was so busy lastnight i forgot my homework

Sorry , My dog ate my homework, then my science project ate my dog.

i made my homework into a paper plane and it was highjacked

Please excuse Jordan from school forever, because she has some weird desease called freckles.

"I have anal glaucoma-- I don't see my ass coming to class today."

Please excuse so and so from P.E. Today. As a member of the marching band, those band kids are constantly playing each others instruments, and she has a yucky mouthepice disease on her lips from playing the tuba.

Alex had constapation and exploded at breakfast.We have stiched him back together now.Sorry for any inconveniece caused.

Please excuse bob from school this week as he has to attend his grandmothers aunties uncles friends cousins dentists pets vets mums sisters daughters speech on .......................stuff and she will be talking about rather alot of stuff.

please excuse shyann from gym today she was watching t.v. yestuday and strained her eyes so now she can't focus well

i did my home work on the computer but it broke so i couldn't print it off for you.

I'm going through puberty!

on the way to school i was feeding the ducks and my homework fell in

Please excuse sarah from school for this month. She has mild bladder weakness and has a heavy period. Thanyou Muchly.

Student: " Miss! Would you punish someone for something they didn't do?"
Teacher: "Um, No i wouldn't, not if that person hadn't done it."
Student: " Good, because i didn't do my homework!"

Kayla did not have her homework today because last night aliens abducted it.

Please excuse Jimmy from school his hair hurt.

I was feeding my dog some bisqits, and she thought my homework was the bisqit. Just quimsidental i say! HEHE!!

I did my homework, but I just forgot to write it down!

Excuse my daughter for being absent for three weeks. She's going to have a baby

I was late for class because i was fighting with a kid who said that you werent the best teacher in the world My daughter didn't come to sckool today because she broke her leg in ten different places. it will take a few days, but don't worry, she will come back to skool with a PERFECT leg!

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